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Introduction:
I want to
make a commentary here at the beginning of my message, that the
content of this message may seem very discouraging and melancholy
at the beginning. Please note that I am doing this on purpose
to help some of you, maybe all of you, address the hardships of
life in a healthy biblical manner. I must reach down to where
some of you find yourself; or perhaps may find yourself, in order
to help you fight the battle each of us is called to fight.
Last fall I read through a book entitled “Wild at Heart”.
It is a biblical study into the internal mechanisms which drive
men. Since that time, there have been a group of us who meet on
Monday mornings to do, what in essence is, a book study on this
book. It has all been fairly interesting and leads to some good
discussions ... but something this last Monday occurred to me
that I want to expand upon this morning. This series of messages
doesn’t apply only to men either.
One of the three premises of the book is that every man has a
battle to fight. Somewhere in the study book it asked the question,
“Do you realize that you are in a battle?”
Somewhere in thinking about that question, it occurred to me that
very often I am aware that I am in a battle. But there are also
times when life doesn’t seem so much like a battle as it
does a struggle. Perhaps for you, there doesn’t seem like
much of a difference between those two thoughts ... “life
is a struggle” or “life is a battle”.
This morning, I want to take a lot of time to work through the
subtleties of those two phrases. Then, of course, I want you to
think about your own perspective and how it is that you think
about your life.
In the coming weeks we are going to look at the biblical perspective
of the three areas where this battle is fought.
Comparing a Struggle & a Battle
Let’s start by comparing a struggle and a battle. When I
think of those two words, there are certain similar connotations
that come to mind.
Effort
The very idea of both of these words conjures up in my mind the
sense of activity. Both words carry the immediate thought of expending
a lot of effort. Neither a struggle nor a battle can be waged
successfully without effort.
Fight
Both words imply that there is a fight happening ... either a
fight against another individual or against a personal barrier
eg. it could be a struggle or a battle to overcome an addiction...
or get good grades in college... or stay out of debt.
Sacrifice
In addition to the essence of energy and a fight both words carry
some degree of discomfort or sacrifice. Struggling or battling
is not something that is casual, it requires you to sacrifice
your comfort and engage the enemy.
Possibility of losing (greater possibility = less incentive to
fight)
And there is always the possibility of losing. We struggle and
we battle in order to win the fight, but the reason it is a struggle
or battle is because there is a possibility of losing the fight.
If there was no possibility of losing, why would we expend the
effort and make the sacrifice? And the greater the likelihood
of losing the less incentive to fight.
Threat (greater threat = more incentive to fight)
And finally, the fact that we can lose means that in some way
we are being threatened. That threat may come by way of losing
something we have, in which case we struggle or battle to retain
it; or the threat may be a barrier to achieving something we want,
in which case we struggle or battle to achieve it. The greater
the sense of threat, the more incentive we have to engage the
fight.
Example:
If some 6’6” 340 lbs. biker purposefully puts his
foot over the dime I dropped on the floor and says “finders
keeper”, that’s a small loss and a large threat ...
I’m not likely going to expend the effort or make the sacrifice
to fight him to get the dime back... I’ll likely be okay
with looking like a whimp without a dime rather than looking like
a pretzel without a dime.
But if the same man were to hurt my boys or hit on my wife, I’d
make the sacrifice. Even though the threat is the same, my sense
of loss is greater and I’m willing to face the threat because
of the importance of winning the fight.
I also have a much more likely chance of winning the fight if
my reason to fight is more important to me. Those of you who play
sports recognize that concept. It isn’t always the team
who has the greater abilities that wins the competition; it’s
often the ones who were more hungry for victory.
So those are some of the ways in which a struggle and a battle
are similar.
Contrasting a Struggle and a Battle
Now let’s talk about the differences between a struggle
and a battle. In particular, let’s think about the subtle
differences in the phrases “life is a struggle” vs.
“life is a battle”. You’ve probably all heard
the phrase “life is a struggle, and then you die”.
The very tone of that saying is what sets apart a struggle from
a battle on so many levels.
Purpose
When I think of someone saying, “life is a struggle”,
I think of someone who doesn’t necessarily have a purpose
for their life. This person feels like life is just kind of happening
to them. They probably feel like they are along for the ride and
they want to get off the ride for a break. They cannot come up
with an adequate answer for “why” they should keep
up the struggle. And no wonder, “struggles” don’t
always have purpose. Struggles often focus only on the struggle
and not the reason behind the struggle.
On the other hand, people who see “life as a battle”
would seem to see that there is a purpose behind each struggle.
They don’t deny that portions of life may be hard, but they
know that there is purpose behind everything. Even if they cannot
identify the purpose of the hardship, their choice to believe
that there is a purpose drives them to face the hardships with
integrity and resolve, rather than despair and defeatism.
These people see the battle as a small piece of a larger picture.
The hardship doesn’t loom so large in their minds.
Heb 12:7-11 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you
as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you
are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then
you are illegitimate children and not true sons. ...God disciplines
us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline
seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it
produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have
been trained by it.
It’s on this first point that we must make the greatest
emphasis; the battle seems easier than the struggle because a
battle acknowledges that there is purpose to the fight. A struggle
only acknowledges the fight.
This sense of purpose is the distinguishing factor which leads
to the other differences which we’ll discuss. It is the
fulcrum upon which the struggle/battle scenario totters.
Methods of Handling Hardship
When “life is a struggle”, hardships are often faced
with anger and self-pity. Because you can’t see the purpose
behind the struggle you cannot answer the question that you persistently
face life with, “Why is this happening to me?” Behind
that question is the underlying belief that “I deserve better!”
You’re angry that you aren’t getting what you deserve
and you’re self-pity taints your every word.
Someone asks you, “How’s your day?”
And you reply, “Oh, I’m doing okay. Life’s a
struggle for me you know. I’m being very brave about it
but if you or any other ordinary man were to face my hardships
I’m sure you’d crumble. I’m quite a brave soul.
And if you really cared about how I’m doing you’d
ask me again how I’m ‘really’ doing and I’d
be able to tell you just how brave I’m being and just how
hard my life is ... but you didn’t ask me how I’m
‘really doing” so I know you don’t really care.
Nobody cares. Nobody knows how hard my life is.”
You don’t reply in so many words ... you simply use tones
of voice, inflections and body posture ... but I know what you’re
thinking because I’ve thought the same thoughts of anger
and self-pity myself at times. You didn’t think you had
the corner on this attitude did you? Life isn’t a struggle
just for you.
I purposefully use the word “you” because those of
you who may be feeling a little defensive about how I’m
talking are the ones who need to give yourself a headshake. If
it offends you that I’m dismantling your comfortable little
pity party then get angry at me all you want; I’m just doing
my job.
If you decide to stay in that camp don’t say I haven’t
given you the opportunity to move to higher ground.
When “life
is a battle”, you continue to do the right thing; you can
continue to put others ahead of yourself instead of wallowing
in self-pity, because you remember there is purpose.
Those who face “life as a battle” face identical hardships
as the strugglers, but because they know there is purpose behind
all that God allows in our lives, they willingly and tenaciously
look for resources the win the battle.
When “life is a struggle”, all you can see is the
round hole and the square peg in your hand. When life is a battle,
you see the round hole, the square peg, and you look for a knife
to whittle the edges off of the peg.
I like to use the motto “do what you can, not what you can’t”.
When “life is a battle”, you resolve to do everything
within your power to fight the battle; but you also realize that
there are so many things beyond your power. And you humbly submit
to that higher purpose that may be beyond your ability or need
to understand.
2 Tim 4:5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship,
do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your
ministry.
2 Cor 12:7-10 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these
surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in
my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded
with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's
sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions,
in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Because we have purpose, we handle hardships differently.
Victim/Agent
In the counseling world, there are different understandings of
two words; Victim and Agent.
For the purpose of my message today, a victim is someone to whom
something harmful has been done at the will of another person.
If someone slaps you or insults you, you are a victim of their
behaviour. That is where victimization ends... at the behaviour.
You are not responsible for being someone else’s victim.
What they purposefully did to you is not your fault if you are
their victim; even if you did something to precipitate their action.
That does not negate their responsibility for their own actions/reactions
... you are still a victim of their actions. Their behaviour may
have been a result of their reaction to your actions. In other
words, they may have been your victim and then reacted to make
you their victim.
The word victim has only to do with the imposition of someone
else’s harmful behaviours upon you. The word victim does
not address your response to the behaviour.
Your response to being a victim is defined in the word agent.
The fact that you are an agent of your own actions simply means
that you are responsible for your own actions. How you act or
react to someone else’s actions is entirely your responsibility.
You are the only agent of your actions.
So being a victim states that you are not at all responsible for
someone else’s actions, but being an agent states that you
ARE solely responsible for your own actions.
How does this play out in our message this morning?
When someone defines “life as a struggle”, they are
likely to focus on their own sense of victimization. This is where
the self-pity and anger come in. Because they are not looking
beyond the struggle to the purpose, they wallow in the sense of
victimization and injustice. Sometimes they can almost get conceited
about their victimization; as though they are the only victims
in the world or they are suffering the most hardship.
Very often, when “life is a struggle”, people don’t
even acknowledge that they are an agent of their actions and reactions.
They excuse their behaviours based on their feelings of victimization.
They justify their reactions based on the injustice done to them.
This is the way every soul is tempted to handle victimization.
It happened in the very beginning of time. God told Adam not to
eat of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The serpent
came to Eve and tempted her, she ate it and gave some to Adam
and he ate it. God confronted them and they claimed to be victims
instead of acknowledging their responsibility for their behaviours.
Gen 3:11-13 Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you
not to eat from?"
The man said, "The woman you put here with me--she gave me
some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." “It’s
either your fault or her fault, but it certainly isn’t my
fault I at the fruit.”
Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have
done?"
The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
It isn’t my fault I ate it, I was deceived.
When we see “life as a battle”, we don’t deny
that we are sometimes victims of other people’s actions,
but we see past that issue and acknowledge that we are responsible
for our own actions & reactions. When you see past the fight
to the purpose, you are more likely to act as a responsible agent
and make positive healthy choices.
When “life is a battle”, because we acknowledge that
there is purpose to everything, we keep our eyes on that purpose
and refuse to let victimization be an excuse to not reach for
our purpose.
This thought leads us to the final area we will contrast between
life being a “struggle” or a “battle”.
Empowerment
The whole concept of victimization or agency deals with our own
sense of empowerment.
When “life is a struggle”, and you feel like a helpless
victim in someone else’s story, your senses of empowerment
declines.
Those of you who took the course “How People Tick”
may recognize the unraveling of a familiar scenario in this case
of empowerment.
The painful
experiences we face (in our Personal Circle) imprint images in
our mind.
Those images form our beliefs about ourselves and the world around
us. (Rational Circle)
If one of the lies we believe is that we are only victims and
not agents, then we set goals and choose behaviours which reinforce
that belief (Volitional Circle). The Volitional Circle shrinks
because we are less aware that our actions are choices... our
sense of victimization leads us to conclude that our behaviours
were not chosen at all but were only a response to our status
as a victim.
We continue to experience “unpleasant destructive”
emotions (Emotional Circle) which only serve to entrench our belief
that we are a victim. We justify our actions based on our own
sense of self-pity or anger.
Our self-pity or anger only serves to fuel more events which prove
our belief that we are a victim.
That whole cycle is an ever-deepening spiral robbing us of empowerment.
However, when
“life is a battle”, we acknowledge that we have been
a victim (Personal Circle experience), but we still believe that
we are agents in control of our actions/reactions (Rational Circle).
We set goals and behaviours (Voitional Circle) based on that responsible
belief and although we still experience sadness (Unpleasant Emotion)
at being a victim that sadness makes us more dependent upon God
(Constructive Emotion) ... not more angry at the world and more
full of self-pity.
In fact, as we read from Scripture, we would do well to treat
the hardships of life as a part of a larger purpose. So instead
of those hardships robbing us of empowerment, they only serve
to strengthen our resolve.
I want to close this introduction to the next few messages by
reading a passage in Hebrews 11 & 12. In Hebrews 11 the writer
speaks about all the heros of the faith who performed heroic feats
of miraculous strength and resolve. He starts with what most people
would define as the successful heros who conquered great things.
Then in the end of the chapter he mentions those who suffered
great things as a display of their faith.
As we pick it up there, notice that regardless of whether you
feel like a conqueror or a sufferer, the important thing is that
you keep your eyes focused on the target and don’t lose
heart.
Heb 11:35-12:13 Ohers were tortured and refused to be
released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some
faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and
put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they
were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins
and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated- the world
was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains,
and in caves and holes in the ground.
These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received
what had been promised. God had planned something better for us
so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out
for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter
of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross,
scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne
of God.
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that
you will not grow weary and lose heart.
In your fight against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point
of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement
that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For
what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined
(and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate
children and not true sons. ... God disciplines us for our good,
that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant
at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest
of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by
it.
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make
level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled,
but rather healed.
Conclusion
This morning I want to be very sensitive towards you. I do not
deny that many of you are facing greater hardships than I. I honor
you for keeping up the fight and I urge you ... even warn you
... to keep the purpose of honoring God in your constant focus.
If you lose sight of that, life will become much more of a struggle.
There is a natural temptation in all of us to say, “If you
only knew what I’m facing!” And it is a good thing
and a beneficial thing to inform your brothers and sisters of
the battles you are facing; none of us were designed to fight
the battles alone. We need the strength and encouragement of our
family. Our temptation is to walk away from the battle, to walk
away from the family and hide. But we must not approach the hardships
of life with a sense of self-pity or anger. We must not excuse
ourselves from engaging in the battle simply because it seems
too hard. In fact, if it is getting too hard to fight, you need
to be more connected to your family not less.
That is my emphasis this morning. I want to encourage you that
the hardships of life have purpose. Let them strengthen your resolve
to fight this battle to the end. And let those around you be an
encouragement to you.
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